1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.4.) If you hook a dog leash...

1. OPENING JARS - She's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work.2. CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you the man.3. DOING A PROPER SLIDE...

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?A stick.What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?Frostbite.What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?A nervous wreck.Where do you find a dog with no legs?Right where you left him.Why do gorillas have big nostrils?Because...

These are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe...1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.3. Law of probability:...

Top joke in UKA woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says:...

Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways:Prof. of Computer Science: A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.Prof. of Algebra: A kiss is two divided by nothing.Prof. of Geometry: A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.Prof. of Physics: A...

If you messed up your life, you could press "Alt, Ctrl, Delete" and start all over!To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!If you needed a break from life, click on "suspend".Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.To get even with the neighbors,...

Abraham Lincoln vs. John F Kennedy1. Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.John F Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.2. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.3. The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.Both were...